Hey Abby // How To Make A Seating Chart Your Wedding Guests Will Love

Hey Abby: We’re making a seating chart for our wedding and we have awkward groupings at our tables.  Any advice for assigning seats without making anyone feel left out?

One of the best compliments I received from our wedding was that our family and friends felt like they had great conversations over dinner and were able to meet new people they had a lot in common with.  Carefully selecting the seating arrangements at your wedding can foster new bonds and relationships between the people in your life, allow your guests to have a fun and lively dinner together, and kick off a GREAT party.

Here’s my three-step formula for making the perfect seating chart:

STEP ONE
Start with a basic breakdown of groups of people in your lives.

This usually looks something like this:

• Family #1 
• Family #2 
• Family Friends of Family #1
• Family Friends of Family #2 
• Individual Friends: Friends that are not close to both the bride(s) and/or groom(s). For example: childhood friends, college roommates, coworkers, etc.
• Mutual Friends: Friends you’ve made since you started dating or friends that you both regularly spend time with. 
• Other: Anyone who doesn’t fit into the above categories.

STEP TWO
Layout a basic seating chart based on these groups. Don’t worry at this point if you have gaps at tables, or some people that don’t fit in quite yet.  But make sure that you have a system to not lose track of people as you place them.

Here's what I recommend for tracking systems: If you’re a list-maker by nature, I recommend an excel spreadsheet that you highlight as you place people.  If you’re a doodler by nature, I recommend individual post-it notes with guests names written on them to lay out and see visually.

STEP THREE
Apply the secret formula!

This is my secret formula for planning the perfect seating chart:  
Someone they know + Someone they don’t + A common bond = Engaging dinner conversation!

Nobody likes to be at the awkward table of random people in the corner. Ensure that everyone at the tables knows at least one other person at their table.  Then, make an effort to mix the groups so there is someone at each table that may be new each guest, but shares a common interest with the rest of the table.  

Here are some examples of good mixes:

• Each person’s coworkers who live in the same city, but don’t know each other.
• Your college friends and your fiancee’s college friends who share a common hobby (cooking, traveling, football)
• Your parent’s friends and your fiancee’s parents friends who both have children at the same stage in life.
• Your friends with small children and your parent’s friends who have grandchildren the same age.
• Your friend and her husband who is an avid music lover and your fiancee’s friend who plays in a band.  

A little thoughtfulness goes a long way and your guests may end up forging connections and friendships beyond just your wedding day.  True community at its best!

A Life Lately Update!

Hello!
It’s been a bit since I’ve posted an update about the happenings here at Heirloom and for life in general, so I thought this rainy Friday afternoon might just be the perfect time to catch you up! I have a steaming cup of tea next to me in my office and multiple dogs sleeping by my feet.

So...a few big things have happened in the last few months:

A New Look for Heirloom
Heirloom is getting a new website that’s currently in the works and I did a really fun branding photoshoot with the very talented Jennifer Kathryn Photography. It was such a treat to get glammed up and create some tabletops and other details just for fun. I’m thinking about adding monthly creative days to my schedule where I let myself just design and style purely for the sake of fun. If anyone want to collaborate on one, please email me!

Two Years of Business
Tomorrow is Heirloom’s second Business-versary! Here’s a picture of me just about to sign the paperwork at the notary office two years ago. I dropped the papers in the mail and jumped on a plane to Europe that day for our adventure in Switzerland.  I wanted so badly to create a business that worked for our lives and allowed us to really live them to the fullest. It doesn’t feel like years, it feels like the blink of an eye. And, it looks so different from the inside than what I ever imagined it would look like from the outside. Some things that I thought would come easily have been the biggest struggles and things that I expected to struggle through have come very naturally. Hands down, it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I’ve never worked so hard for anything and I feel fortunate for the couples, families, vendors and other business owners who choose to work with Heirloom.

Oh, and I Got MARRIED!!
Two weeks ago Mike and I exchanged vows in front of a small group of our friends and family and it was pretty magical. I didn’t talk a lot about our wedding planning here on the blog or on social media in general leading up to our wedding because, quite honestly, it was much harder than I expected to be both a wedding professional and a bride at the same time. So I chose to let myself just experience our engagement as the bride and not add additional pressure that our wedding had to fill my content calendar in that moment as well. Mike reminded me often that our wedding did not have to be planned perfectly for strangers on the internet, and it was just what I needed to hear (even though I love each and every one of you who visit here!). It was the right decision for us to keep our planning private and I tried to stay true to Heirloom’s mission throughout and take the advice I give to my couples. Now that we’re not in the thick of it, I’m really looking forward to sharing some perspective and recaps in the coming weeks.  

Here are a couple images from our day. You can see more of a recap over here on our amazing photographer’s blog.  Working with Maria Harte Photography was incredible! Mike HATES being photographed with a passion, but we both felt so comfortable with Maria that I was honestly sad when our portrait time ended. It was such as testament to finding a photographer that fits well with your style and personality (and why yes, that will be an upcoming blog post! Stay tuned). Oh, and that's my mom's gorgeous veil that I'm wearing! 

You’ll see my name change here on the website and on social media! I’ll be using Abby Giffin McKinney personally and will likely transition to Abby McKinney for Heirloom in the coming months. One of the things I was most excited about during the wedding weekend was getting to use the brand new LL Bean tote that I had monogramed for the occasion! I've carried one for years and if felt like a really fitting way to mark the occasion. I busted this out the following morning are carried it very proudly around the hotel. Thank you to my dear friend Nathalie for remembering to snap a picture with me holding it as we were packing up the cars to reunite with our pups

Mike and I hand crafted many of the details for our wedding. Mike made the decor, such as our table numbers and wooden herb and flower boxes. I did all of the floral for the wedding. I’ll have many more updates soon about some new service offerings for Heirloom, but here are a couple of photos of the creation process for our florals.

We didn’t honeymoon and instead staycationed.  Also the best decision ever, because we were so exhausted that really all we wanted to do was watch Netflix with our dogs anyway.  Our staycation was short because we have jumped right into serious house hunting. Ya’ll I thought weddings were stressful….send ALL THE WINE and puppies to cuddle because I need them dearly to make it through this process.

We’re planning to honeymoon in the fall and I’m really excited about the destination that finally won out -- Tuscany!! I’d love any recommendations about things to do and see. Especially the vespa scootering to vineyard related things.  

More Content and Exciting Updates to Come!
I’m excited to get back to a regular schedule and blog content.  Monday is the return of the Hey Abby Series! If there are any etiquette or how-to questions that you’d like answered, I’d love to hear from you here.

Heirloom’s client wedding season officially kicks off next weekend with the SWEETEST couple on the planet. I am so excited to work with them and an amazing vendor team.  Stay tuned to my instagram for behind the scenes stories.  

A Huge thank you for all the love and support for Heirloom, our lives and our wedding!  

xoxo,
Abby Giffin McKinney

5 Tips to Create Beautifully Personalized Wedding Welcome Bags

Welcome bags are most certainly my love language! Creating a special welcome for your guests who have traveled for miles and carved a weekend out of their schedules is a lovely way to say thank you. But, it doesn't have to be complicated. A few creature comforts go a very long way. Today Molly from Flour & Fig is sharing some great tips on how to thoughtfully welcome your guests in a beautifully personalized way!  If you just can't add one more thing to your wedding to-do list, Molly can create these custom beauties for you! Be sure to also check out Flour & Fig's gorgeous collection of pre-designed curated boxes for all types of celebrations.  

Everyone loves a unique, personalized & delicious gift, especially those guests that are traveling to a wedding.  Being greeted with a little something special is the cherry on top of what will be a beautiful weekend ahead.

A few tips on what to include in your wedding welcome bags:

1. Something to snack on.  Having a few goodies that guests can munch on throughout the weekend is ideal.  Try to include a good variety of salty & sweet & even adding a piece of fresh fruit can help brighten your bag right up! Including a few of your favorite treats is a great way to personalize each bag.

2. Something to help your guests relax.  Including a product that will make your guests feel more at home is such a lovely surprise.  Add a small container of bath salts or hand soap, a few packets of your favorite tea or a bag of coffee, or a bottle of your favorite wine, beer or cider.

3. Something fresh.  Including a small bouquet that matches those throughout the weekend is a nice way to brighten up the room accommodations. Or, adding a small succulent plant that can be kept & replanted is a sweet way for guests to remember your special day. 

4. Something to show guests around.  Adding a map of the of the city or town where the wedding will be held is a nice way to give your guests a self-guided tour of the area.  Add stars to your favorite local shops & restaurants &, for a little extra, you can even include a small gift card for a coffee or pastry, compliments of the bride & groom, to your favorite coffee shop. 

5. Something personal. Taking the time to write something special to your guests is memorable & thoughtful.  &, create a gift bag that will fit with your theme for the weekend by adding ribbon & a cute name tag that matches your colors. These small personalized touches will help your guests feel appreciated & loved.

Welcome bags are an invitation to your guests to relax & enjoy the weekend ahead. Adding some of these thoughtful gifts to your bags is a beautiful way to share with your guests a bit about yourself & a lovely way to say thank you for being a part of your special day. 

Molly Weener is the pastry chef behind Flour & Fig, a business that was created to help celebrate the largest & smallest celebrations because life should be simple & sweet. She believes that good butter makes everything taste better, sweet snacks are balanced best with a sprinkling of salt & fresh flowers make everything lovely. You can find her at:

Website:  www.flourandfig.com 
Instagram: @flourandfig
Email: hello@flourandfig.com

(All photos credited to Casey Harrison of Hello Love Photo. Logo design by Katherine Corden)

Hey Abby? // Can I Use An Electronic RSVP?

Hey Abby,
Can we use an electronic RSVP for our wedding?

So here’s the deal. Traditional wedding etiquette stipulates the only way for guests to RSVP to your wedding is through a paper response card. This will always be a very beautiful way to collect your guest responses and is the right choice for many people. However, electronic response collection is gaining popularity for ease of use and is no longer considered tacky when done well. As with many of your wedding decisions, the best choice will be based on individual factors and what’s most important to you.  Here are some reasons paper vs. electronic may be YOUR best option:

Reasons To Choose Paper RSVP Cards:

• You are planning a more formal or traditional wedding. This will always be the gold standard for a reason. It’s beautifully traditional, makes guest feel special and has that touch of formality that makes your wedding feel elevated from everyday life.

• You LOVE paper goods. If paper goods are one of your top priorities, then a traditional invitation suite is likely the best fit for you.

• Receiving rsvp cards in your mailbox is thrilling. No one can deny this. Tiny cards of happiness in your mailbox leading up to your wedding day is so much fun!

• You have very reliable mail service. If you don't understand why this is on the list, then you have very reliable mail service.  

• You intend to save them as a keepsake. My mom saved hers and I still remember pulling the little white envelopes out of the box as a kid with wonder and amazement.

• You have a large amount of elderly or non tech-savvy guests. This is becoming much less of a concern as even our grandparents have email and Facebook, but you don’t want to inconvenience your guests to RSVP for your wedding. You will know your list best.

Reasons To Choose Electronic RSVP collection:  

• Your response timeline is tight. Electronic collection is much faster because you don’t have to wait for the return mailing time, and for some of your guests to find a postal box. (Who else thinks mailing things is SO hard!).

• You have unreliable mail service. I love the postal service, but anyone who lives in a large city or apartment building knows this is fact of life.

• You need a little more time to finalize your catering. You can order your invites with directions to your electronic rsvp form and finalize your entree selections during the shipping and assembly timeframe.

• You have multiple weekend events that you would like a headcount for. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for an RSVP for any wedding event that is being hosted (i.e. - you are paying for the food and drinks) during the weekend. If your weekend includes a welcome party, morning after brunch, trolley tour of the city, wine tasting or other such event, an electronic format gives you the freedom to easily list all of these events and for guests to clearly reply with who will come to each.

If you decide that electronic response collection is the right choice for you, here are my recommendations on how to make the process smooth and graceful for your guests. 

How to do Electronic RSVP's well:

1. Always mail a paper invitation. Period. End of story.

2. Include a separate card (for more formality) or a line at the bottom of your invite with directions to your RSVP site. "Please visit xxx.com to RSVP." 

3. Don’t make the link obnoxiously long. This should be as easy and convenient as possible. If you don't have a personalized wedding website, then I recommend making a shortened link with your names or something else that is easy to type (not: ig7H99L)  

4. Test your response collection site first!

My favorite response collection tools:

• Google forms - free, easy to customize and puts all of your data into a spreadsheet.
• Squarespace forms- also my favorite wedding website tool; sends you an email with each response collection (mini-thrill!); can be set up to funnel data into a google sheet.

Electronic works best for me, but I really want to get mail!
If you’re leaning towards electronic RSVP's, but you’re sad to give up that thrill of receiving mail from you guests, consider including a small card (and pre-stamped envelope) with your invitation suite and asking guests to send you a note of encouragement or marital wisdom during your first year of marriage. It will be much more of a keepsake than their names and entree selection and will be such a nice surprise when you receive them in the months after all the wedding events have ended. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic!  Would you consider electronic or are you a tried and true paper for lifer?  

Do you have a planning or etiquette questions you’d like to see answered here?
Email me here: abby@heirloomeventco.com  

Header Invitation Suite by Emily Rose Ink, Photography by Roots of Life Photography

5 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Paper

Today is the first ever Guest Post on the Heirloom blog! I look forward to sharing more resources and advice from other wedding industry professionals! Cory Smith for Four Hats Press is sharing with us her favorite ways to make your paper goods tell your story! 

Bespoke wedding paper is a great way to incorporate some meaningful custom detail into your big day—uniquely highlighting your personalities and memories together. A beautiful invitation suite can also double as a frameable keepsake to adorn your walls long after the wedding.

If you're looking to create customized paper for your event, here are a few ideas for inspiration:

Highlight a landmark

Does the location of your event have special significance? Are you getting married under a 100 year-old oak tree? Will you say your vows in the same chapel in which your parents were married? Perhaps depicting an image for sentimental value could express the meaning of place to your guests.

Say it with a Song

Do you love the lyrics from an old Ella Fitzergerald ballad? Are your already busy concocting the perfect dance playlist to incorporate all your favorite love songs through the ages? Borrow phrases from some of your favorite songs as you compile the wording for your invitation or ask guests to request a song for your reception playlist on the reply card.

Tell Your Story

Did you meet your fiancée while on hike in the Blue Ridge Mountains? Do you both have a penchant for bird-watching? Are you hosting your wedding at a seaside inn? Consider incorporating an appropriate pattern or motif into your design. Envelope liners are a great way to add color and pattern to an otherwise classic design.

Do the Write Thing

Love the look of a simple hand-written invitation? Have you always loved your grandmother's penmanship or the way your mom writes her thank-you notes? Have someone you love write out the invitation (like below). Such and elegant and sweet way to connect your family to your wedding day.

Post-Haste

Picking a sweet and specific theme for your postage stamps is another way to add some flair to your suite. Love wildlife? Use collages of bird, butterfly, and flora stamps. Are you big art gallery-goers? Find some old stamps depicting the works of painters and artists.

Adding thoughtful details to your paper can be a fun way to set the tone for your event, and give guests insight into who you are as a couple.

Photos courtesy of: Mandy Busby Photography, Morgan Trinker Photography, David Lai, Ragan House Lettering, Jennifer Claire Photography, Spindle Photography

To see more work from Four Hats Press, find Cory here: Website, Instagram, Pinterest 

Cory Smith is a Chicago-based hand-letterer and letterpress printer at Four Hats Press. When she’s not covered in ink, she can be found cozied up next to her fake fireplace or cooking up something delicious in the kitchen.

How to Plan Your Wedding With Style and Substance

Weddings are a wonderful time to bring together family, friends and acquaintances to share in the experience of your marriage.  They also are large scale events with a lot of moving pieces and a short time frame. The mentality that it’s “just one day” often leads people to choose items for their wedding that feel disposable.  

“It all gets thrown away tomorrow, so it doesn’t really matter” - This statement makes my stomach turn.

Let me pose this question to you: If you fill your day with disposable items that you don’t care much about, how will that lead to a long, strong and stable marriage?  Planning your day with style AND substance means that you’ve thought through your guest experience, edited down your details, and designed a day that feels quintessentially like “you two.”

How to incorporate both style and substance to your day:

• Plan your timeline to maximize time with your guests (And this one can be free!)
  
  You wedding day will go by so fast.  You plan for months, wait in anticipation, and then it feels like it’s over in the blink of an eye.  One thing you will never regret is to plan as much time as possible to spend with your guests. There are a lot of ways you can get creative so as not to take away from other important items like photos and hair and makeup. One of my favorite ways to do this is with a first look and portraits earlier in the day. A first look is a personal decision to make with your partner, but it opens up a huge block of time after your ceremony to spend with your loved ones.  The other way I love to see this done is with casual before or after events. A welcome party, morning after brunch, or Friday afternoon activity extends the time you have to spend together outside of the formality of the wedding day.  Choose a hotel with a complimentary happy hour or breakfast service and extend the invitation to your guest to join you in the lobby during that time.
   

• Subtle Hints > Themes
  
  Nothing feels more disposable than themed party decor.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good themed party! This type of decor has a time and place, but not here. Think about the overall look and feel you’d like to have at your wedding. Gather up your inspiration and ideas and lay them out in front of you.  Edit out anything that feels overly themed.  Replace it with colors, textures, sounds, even tastes that bring out that same feeling.  Event design is a 360 experience, incorporating all of the senses.  This one is a little more advanced. If you’re feeling lost, consider the help of a designer to help you infuse subtle personality to your design.

• Incorporate your favorite things throughout the day
  
  When making decisions about what will make up your wedding day. Make it your favorite things! Consider serving your favorite food, or a late night snack from your favorite local taco stand.  If you don’t love cake, but always have a blueberry pie on your birthday, then mini-pies for all! Choose things for your wedding day that you would pick in real life. There is no better way to make the day feel like you, and your guests will love being treated to your favorites!

Do you want to infuse your wedding with personality and meaning?

Contact me here to learn more about my event design and planning services and how I can help make your day thoughtfully beautiful.

Header Image by Nikole Marie Photography

Hey Abby? // How To Plan Your Wedding When There Are Bigger Things Happening in the World?

Today’s Hey Abby post is slightly different. No specific logistical question to answer or decor item to comment on. I wanted to talk about something else that seems especially relevant right now. When you’re engaged and in the thick of planning, you just want to shout from the roof about all.things.weddings! The beautiful silk ribbon you found, or the welcome cocktail you selected feel like the biggest victories of your week.  

But what happens when there’s something bigger going on in your life? It might be things that are happening in the world in general, or in our political arena that you feel incredibly passionate about. Or it might be something much more personal, such as a family member struggling with illness, the death of someone close to you, or other loss.

It can be hard or feel not quite right to share the excitement about details of your day when things feel heavy around you. Your wax seal decision feels incredibly frivolous compared to the other things in your newsfeed.  Or perhaps your heart is incredibly weighed down with confusions and sadness and you just don’t want to think about linen selections.  

How do you move forward?

1) Balance your planning with other things that are important to you.
Engagement is a special and exciting time in your life and you should celebrate that to the best of your ability.  However, being engaged should not overtake the other things in your life that are also important to you.  Balance your planning with other activities, people, and things that you love or feel passionate about.  Otherwise you risk becoming totally consumed with your own wedding day.  You are still a daughter, sister, friend, citizen, volunteer, community leader, as well as a bride-to-be. Continue to put time and energy into those other things that are important to you and give them your sole focus during the time you’ve dedicated. (ie. don’t take calls from your DJ while you’re volunteering with your favorite charity,) Separating your time and mental headspace a will help you keep moving forward with your to-do list without losing touch with the rest of your life and yourself. Planning burn-out is real, and staying in touch with who you are as a person is the best way to ward it off.

2) Recognize when you need a break and take it.
If there is truly something happening in your life that needs your time and attention, adjust your planning accordingly.  Perhaps your mom is going through cancer treatments, or you have an elderly family member that needs full time care.  Schedule your planning in chunks, so you can take breaks during times your attention is needed elsewhere.  Hire additional help to do the legwork.  Full service planning can take the bulk of the legwork off your plate to free up your time and attention for only higher level decision making.  In some cases, adjusting your wedding date may be needed. If you're considering this, first explore whether full service planning would be a better option for you. It may be an additional budget item, but could save you money in the long term if you’re facing lost deposits and penalty fees.   Only you and your partner will know what type of break will be best for your life and situation

3) Make The Pretty Mean Something
Yes, ribbon color feels frivolous next to cancer, or death or deportation.  But planning a celebration that tells your story, with details that have meaning to your life are the uplifting and heartwarming stories that people NEED to hear. Celebrations create memories and those good memories carry us through the more difficult times. So go ahead and SHARE those heartwarming details and put some goodness back into the world and your newsfeed!

Do you have a planning or etiquette questions you’d like to see answered here? Email me here: abby@heirloomeventco.com  

February Goals!

Hi Friends!
Checking in for my second goals post of the year. See my first post here!  January was a doozy of a month for me.  A hard and refining month where on paper, it appears I fell on my face a little, but in hindsight it was a growth month that I really needed to have.  I started off the month with a big list of things to that HAD to be done.  Some actual deadlines, some self imposed goals and off I went, running strong.  A week in, I got the flu and I was really sick. So not in the plans! I tried my best to rest, and took medicine and cleared my schedule a little, but the sickness really held on.  By week two I was exhausted, still feeling badly, and doing my best to keep all of my actual deadlines on track. The rest of that big lofty list floating woefully to the bottom of the pond.  The doctor told me that my body was holding on to the sickness out of exhaustion. I wanted to cry, but I was honestly too tired and sick to muster a tear.

I chugged along through the rest of the month. Doing what was absolutely critical. Letting go of some things completely, and falling somewhere in the middle on most of the rest. My goals list shrunk down to two things: 1) Have a really awesome Indie Wed Booth and Lounge and 2) Get myself healthy.  Overall, it has really helped me think about sustainability in my business, and personal health. Lessons happen when we need to learn them the most in my experience.  Here’s a snippet of where January ended on paper:

January Recap:

• New headshots and brand photos  Nope! Didn’t happen. Moving to February.
• Send out my 2nd monthly newsletter YES! Actually this is one thing I really enjoyed this month. February’s newsletter is scheduled for February 7th! Sign up Here!
• Complete EL Playbook Well-loved Brand Masterclass - Technically Completed, but there are pieces that I’d love to revisit and spend more time on.  
• Read Profit First Ha! I had weeks where staying awake longer than 4 hours was a true challenge.
• Write content outline for planning system. Basic outline written! Much more in depth thought needed on this one.
• Plan + Implement successful Indie Wed booth and partner with Aisle Society to design the 3rd floor Lounge Space! Yes, Yes, Yes! We had a wonderful day and created a really beautiful and relaxing space. Looking back, this should have been one of my only goals for the month.  Live and learn.  See below for some BTS pics! 

Weekly Goals

• Inbox Zero (yes, every week!) - One week yes. All others no. Not feeling totally off track and really liked having this is a goal.
• Use my time on social media to encourage others, not mindlessly scroll I ended up with a true social media break this month and it was good to step away to let my body and mind rest, but overall no real social media goals were accomplished.
• IG + FB posts scheduled - Nope! See above.
• Write 5 handwritten notes. No one wanted my germ covered notes this month anyway!  Trying again next month!
• Block my work time and tasks on my google calendar. Blocked and then thrown out the window to help myself rest. But lots of lessons learned that I think will carry through to other months.

Daily Goals

• Drink 75 oz of water - Yes! So much water and tea.
• Eat 5 cups of vegetables - I had zero appetite for most of the month. I actually relied on green juice and smoothies most days to get anything into my body.  So I’ll consider this one partially met.
• 30 Minutes of exercise - Nope! I did my first workout back this morning. 15 minutes total and really low impact. BUT even when I was sick, I really craved being able to work out, so I like that I’m building the daily habit.
• Walk our pups! - Ehh, kind of.  Mike took on the brunt of this duty over the month, but I did some just to get myself out of the house.
• No phone scrolling from 8pm-7am
• Money Minute - I actually did this pretty consistently on the days I wasn’t at the worst of being sick.

Some Behind the Scenes Snaps from Indie Wed this past weekend! Full recap coming soon! 

February Goals

Monthly Goals - A more edited list this month to focus on doing less, better

• Spring Client Planning and 2018 New Client work! (Currently booking both 2017 and 2018 dates!)
• Send Monthly Newsletter!
• Schedule and Plan New Headshots
• Tax Prep

Weekly Goals

• Inbox Zero once per week
• One partial or full day off a week based on Mike’s schedule
• Use my time on social media to encourage other and not mindlessly scroll
• Read for 60 minutes, at least three times per week

Daily Goals

• Drink 75 oz of Water
• Eat 5 cups of veggies
• 30 minutes of exercise a day
• No Phone Scroll 8pm-7am
• Money Minute

How was everyone else’s month?

Tips for Hiring and Working with a Videographer

Are you looking to hire a videographer? This post is jammed packed with great insights from BOTH the client and vendor perspective!

But first, I’m so excited to share this video highlight from our 2016 wedding clients Dan + Jordan! You might remember their beautiful Garfield Park day from my blog post here. We worked with Chelsea Bliefernicht from White Quill Creative and she summed the day up more perfectly than I ever could:

“Jordan and Dan's Garfield Park Conservatory wedding perfectly wove their passions, histories, and families into one. Every single beautiful detail held significance to the couple, which made this wedding even more awe-inspiring.”

(Seriously! This right here is why I get up and work every day!!)

AM Prep: Intercontinental Hotel | Venue: Garfield Park Conservatory | Wedding Planner: Heirloom Event Co. | Photographer: Nancy Marie Photography | Strings: Artistrings | DJ: Toast and Jam | Floral: Hoot and Holler | Beauty: Kate Johnson Artistry | Catering: Limelight Catering | Transportation: Top Fleet

So, are you considering hiring a Videographer?  Here’s what Dan and Jordan had to say about their experience:

Photo by Nancy Marie Photography

• Why did you choose to add video in addition to photo?
  At the very least we knew we wanted to film the ceremony so we would always remember what was said. We figured a friend and a Gopro would do. But, after watching a lot of wedding videos online, we realized we really liked the ones that told a story of the whole day. At first we were worried it would be too expensive and might have to be one of those items that needed to be cut. However, Abby helped us find someone who not only fit into our budget, but who understood exactly what we were looking for. Now, having the short film is such a fun way to relive everything!

• How do you think having a video of your wedding adds to your memories or experience of the day?
  Pictures are amazing, but there is something really special about getting a chance to hear the toasts, listen to the ceremony and watch all the dancing. As much as we tried to be present and take in every moment, the day went by in the blink of an eye. Having this video brings it all back to life and it is something we can share with our family and friends, and one day maybe even our children.

• Any tips or feedback you'd give to other couples about working with a videographer?
  Definitely get a sense of what styles you prefer and find a videographer who you can work with. We wanted the video to have the same feeling as the event itself. We also had an amazing vendor (White Quill Creative!!) who really listened to our input when it came to music selection. Feeling like it was a partnership made all the difference in the world!

And also, some advice directly from the source! 

3 Things to Consider When Hiring A Wedding Videographer
From White Quill Creative

Photo by Jennifer Kathryn Photography

1) How long do you want your final wedding film to be?
There are two types of final wedding films - a 1-2 hour documentary edit, similar to the VHS tape sitting in your parents' house, and a "highlight" edit that condenses your entire wedding day into a 10-15 video. It's important to sit down and really think about what's more important to you - having a longer video that you won't watch often but contains more detail, or having a shorter video that you watch all the time that has only the best moments. Also note that it's not a black and white scenario - if you want a highlight film but also want to be able to re-live details, the majority of videographers will happily add full-length clips of your ceremony, toasts, and any other special moments to your package.

2) What shooting style are you attracted to?
Just like photography, your wedding videographer can use a fly-on-the-wall candid style, a more hands-on/directed approach, or a hybrid of the two. It's important you find a wedding videographer who's filming style is something you're comfortable with and compliments your wedding photographer. For example, if your photographer has a candid style, hiring a videographer that directs you will interfere with the photographer's style (and vice versa).

3) Has your photographer worked with the videographer before?
It's okay if the videographer you hire has never worked with your photographer, but asking your photographer for referrals is a great place to start your videographer search if you're overwhelmed. They'll suggest people they've successfully worked alongside before who they know has a complimentary style.

2017 + January Goals!

Happy New Year Friends!!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season and celebrated 2016 away in exactly the way that you wanted to.  This year I rang in the New Year with a really lovely couple at my last wedding of the season. It felt like a very fitting end to all that 2016 was and I’m truly thankful for opportunity to work with them, and also for the walking-taco midnight snack bar (the BEST!). Mike and I celebrated on Sunday morning with mimosas, homemade biscuits and gravy and all three of our dogs on the sofa. It was exactly the deep relaxation I needed to start this year refreshed.  

I went back and forth with sharing my goals for the year, and ultimately decided to share them mostly for personal reasons.  I LOVE reading other’s goal posts (two of my favs are Nancy and Diana), and it helps keep me accountable to breaking them down into smaller chunks.  I hope you enjoy reading them too.  If not, come back later this week for some tips on adding video to your wedding planning!  Over the holiday season I blocked out some big chunks on my calendar to think about what I wanted 2017 to be. I used the PowerSheet system for the first part of my goal setting and then broke each goal down into more action steps.  I’ve used the PowerSheets system in the past and this year they felt more clear and refined and useful in narrowing down all of the things in my brain.

Here goes!

First, here’s a high level overview of what I’m working on for 2017 as a whole:

• Refine Products and Service Offerings to a profitable and sustainable business model. Throughout 2016 I learned a lot about where I shined with my service offerings, and where I did not. I’m working through refining the services I offer to better maximize those strengths and also in a way that makes sense for my life as a whole.
• Refine Client Workflow to a different & joyful planning experience. This is a goal I started implementing in the last few months of 2016 and it one I’m really excited to finish developing over the next month. I tweak and refine my workflow slightly every time I go through it, but this was a drastic overhaul for me.  I started with big blank pieces of paper and a pen. I wrote, scratched out, rewrote and moved things around - even pieces that I thought were tenets of my process. I started to feel really excited about what was coming to life and it really started to feel more like me than I had ever experienced before. Clear, easy to map out, and separated into phases with distinct start and end points, instead of an endless overwhelm of tasks.  More importantly, the opportunity for me to infuse each phase with fun and intentional time for my couples to focus on the planning and then rest and focus on each other.
• Build, Lead and Mentor a Team. This is a scary one for me, because I truly have no idea how this one will play out for me this year. It’s on the list because it needs to be. Not only for Heirloom to grow, but for me personally.  My action steps for this goal are currently just a bunch of ????
• Refine and focus the Heirloom brand and expand the mission to encourage others to do what is right for them. New logo, new branding, new website. All in the works!
• Collaborate with other creatives and businesses that fit the Heirloom Brand and Mission.

For January That Means that this is my focus:

• New headshots and brand photos
• Send out my 2nd monthly newsletter (coming this week! Sign up here to make sure you’re on the list)
• Complete EL Playbook Well-loved Brand Masterclass
• Read Profit First
• Write content outline for planning system.
• Plan + Implement successful Indie Wed booth and partner with Aisle Society to design the 3rd floor Lounge Space! (I’d love to see you there! Ticket giveaway here!)

One of the things I love about the Powersheets are the Weekly and Daily Tending Lists to help you track small daily habits. Honestly, this is a part of the Powersheets I haven’t done in past years.  All the things go in the way and I would get busy and not commit.  This year I’m focusing more on daily habits as a way to provide some structure to entrepreneur-life.

Weekly Goals
- Inbox Zero (yes, every week!)
- Use my time on social media to encourage others, not mindlessly scroll
- IG + FB posts scheduled
- Write 5 handwritten notes. Using these!
- Block my work time and tasks on my google calendar.

Daily Goals
- Drink 75 oz of water
- Eat 5 cups of vegetables
- 30 Minutes of exercise
- Walk our pups!
- No phone scrolling from 8pm-7am
- Money Minute

Well! That was a lot.  If anyone made it down this far, thank you for reading!

If you’re blogging your goals, I’d love to follow along with you too! Leave your blog link in the comments.

How To Gracefully Answer Wedding Planning Questions at the Holiday Table

This week so many of us will be sitting down to holiday tables with friends, relatives, in-laws, friends of friends, and likely some people you’ve never met before, all who want to know the details about how your planning process is going! Here are some tips on how to navigate the questions gracefully without ruining your favorite side dish (#teammashedpototes!).

1. Set yourself up for a positive experience by reminding yourself that all these questions come from a place of excitement and love.  This takes some work on your part (if only it also burned calories!), because after the tenth time you’ve answered the same question your patience will naturally start to wear thin.  Try a little mantra you repeat in your head when you feel your blood pressure start to rise or your patience dip low.  Some of my favorites: ‘all with love’, ‘I’m grateful for this support’...and if all else fails ‘honeymoons and kitchenaids’. (joking! but use it if you have to!)
    
2. You are in control of how much information you share.  You by no means have to be an open book about the highs and lows of planning. Nor do you have to share every detail of your plan for the day. A great response for pressing questions is, “we have some surprise elements planned for everyone, and can’t wait until you can see them.” Share the details you are comfortable with and don’t for one second feel badly about keeping your mouth shut for the rest.
    
3. The art of the graceful sidestep.  There will always be a handful of questions that you’re just not ready to answer in that moment. Either you just legitimately don’t have an answer for them yet, or it’s an area you’re struggling with still. Those are the questions that hit you like tiny little daggers twisting around in your stomach.  When you start to feel flustered, perfect these steps:  1) Big warm smile on your face, 2) Politely give the world's most vague response and 3)  Shift the conversation with an action that involves going to get, or passing you food or drinks.  Here’s how it goes down: “That is a great question.  Who knew there were just so many things to think about with this?! Have you had pie yet? I think we could use some pie right now”

Be warm, polite and firm and you’ll maintain your boundaries and your composure. Then go back and re-read #2 and remember it’s absolutely none of their business if you don’t want to share it! Pass the mashed potatoes!

Hey Abby? // Should I Include a Bouquet and Garter Toss?....and some thoughts on Wedding FOMO.

Hey Abby,
I can’t decide if I should include a bouquet/garter toss in my reception. It feels like an antiquated tradition. I’m worried my single girlfriends won’t like being called out, and I always hate watching the garter toss as a guest.  But I don’t want to miss out on anything or look back and regret not doing it. 

No, I don’t think you should include a bouquet or garter toss.  Not all traditions should be dismissed, just for sake of them being traditions, but you’ve got some strong feelings that this tradition is not for you.  So skip it. 

In my opinion, this tradition is antiquated. The line between sweet/intimate/uncomfortable in a garter toss is very thin, and there’s no going back once it’s crossed. The bouquet toss implies that marriage is a finish line to be raced towards with competitive elbowing and your single girlfriends may be exactly where they want to be in life right now, and that’s really no one else business. 

More so, this great question hits on such a common root of doubt that causes much of the stress in wedding planning.  The fear of missing out is a real thing in our lives, and increases the more real-time connected we get to each other and also to strangers on the internet.  During big life events, especially once in a lifetime events, the fear drives us to say yes to everything, so we don’t miss out on anything.  

But what happens when you say yes to everything is that you’re spread thin and there is less of your focus on anything. Create wedding day memories that are DEEP, not wide.  Deep in your focus, deep in your attention, and deep in the precious moments of time you have. Those are memories you won’t regret. 

Grateful November: Hey Abby Live!

I am forever grateful for the support and encouragement that has been poured upon both me personally and into Heirloom as it has grown and flourished this year.  Form the beginning, I've strived to make Heirloom something that not only gives to my life and the lives of my clients, but also to the community as a whole.  

That's why I'm SO excited to announce my gratefulness initiative for November: Hey Abby Live!

This month I've opened up TEN slots for complimentary phone sessions to ANY engaged couple to talk through their most burning and troublesome wedding planning issues. Yes, it's compleatly free! No strings attached. No sales pitch at the end. It's a small way for me to say thank you to those who have supported me, by paying to forward into the lives of others. 

Don't know what to do about a ceremony slot at 10am, when you can't get into the reception venue until 6? Let's chat it through. Having trouble balancing a dream for a huge blow out event with a shoe string budget? I've got some ideas.  Whatever is keeping you up at night, let 's talk it through. Here are the details: 

Dates:
Sunday, November 6th
Sunday, November 13th

Sign Up Here!
www.calendly.com/heirloom/hey-abby-live

Happy November! 
Abby

Hey Abby? // Should My Wedding Party Get A Plus-One?

Hey Abby:
When I’m determining my guest list, should I include a plus-one guest for the members of my wedding party?

Oh, the hotly debated plus-one guest conundrum. I’ve seen even the most aligned couples and friends become vastly divided on this topic.

Yes, any member of your wedding party should receive a plus-one-guest if they are married or have a long term partner OR if they are in a significant relationship and/or live with their significant other. 

For any member of the party who doesn’t fall in the above categories (or is in the grey-zone of relationship significance), here’s my advice:

The most respectful thing is to simply ask them if they would like to bring a guest. No one blanket rule will cover every person or circumstance.  If these people are important enough in your life to be included in the wedding party, then they’re close enough for you to have a conversation with. If it turns out they would like to bring a guest, it’s gracious to extend them the opportunity regardless of your budget or current head count.  Cut in other places if this feel like a significant burden. A simple “would you like to bring a guest to the wedding?” will go a tremendous way in making them feel appreciated and respected for giving such a big commitment to your day.  

Some people will be flattered you asked and more comfortable dancing the night away with a date by their side.  Others won’t want to worry about where their plus-one is during all of the required wedding party responsibilities and will forgo the option compleatly.  Either way the most important people in your life will feel included and respected and that is the ultimate ‘do.’ 

Want to chat about this more? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me! abby@heirloomeventco.com

On My Reading List

A round up of the top 5 things that made it into my saved reading link list this week in weddings, life and beyond! 

How to set the scene for your Engagement Photos - I LOVED this article on Junebug Weddings this week about how planning your engagement session around an activity you love doing together. 

The beginners guide to cutting out sugar - I've done sugar detoxes in the past and after a few crazy hard days of cursing every peanut butter cup in existence, I've always felt incredible. Mentally clear, light on my feet, ready to tackle anything and everything. Thinking about another one in November pre-holiday treat season. 

The best doormat on the planet: Light on the reading, but this might be my favorite link of the whole week.  We're in the beginning stages of planning a move and we're no where near close to picking a house, but I've picked our doormat! Check that off my list. 

We are the generation that doesn't want relationships: This made it in to my feed this week and it's been on my mind since I read it.  So thought provoking. 

Weekend Breakfast Bowl Recipes: My favorite thing in life on weekend mornings is a breakfast  called the 'Trucker Bowl' from the dinner around the corner from my house. Sometime we don't have time to make it in, so I flagged this for some at home ideas to whip up. 
 

City Vs. Country Wedding Inspiration

My life is a constant pull between city life and country fantasies. Having lived nearly my entire adult life in large cities, I'm so comfortable strolling down city blocks and hustling through train turnstiles. And yet, every free day I get, I find myself in the car driving out to the country to just feel like I can breathe again. The constant grass is always greener situation. 

Some of my clients know immediately which feeling they want for their wedding, and others are right there in the same struggle of city lights over country charm.  

So which one is more your style? City or Country? 

VS.

Sources Clockwise from Left
City: 1 / 2 / 3/ 4 / 5 / 6
Country: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 

How to Plan Your First Look

There are many factors that will go into your decision to have a first look or not.  Consider your personal wishes, the wishes of your partner, the schedule for your day and how you’d like to spend the hours leading up to your wedding.  

If you decide that a first look is right for you, here are some tips on how to pull off a great one:

• Choose a location that is convenient for you over one that is meaningful to you. I know that I’m usually all about the meaning, however this moment is much more about the emotional connection between you and your partner and will be meaningful wherever it happens.  Save yourself the stress of rushing across town to get to the spot you had your first kiss. Typically the most convenient locations are either 1) near where the bride is getting ready or 2) near your ceremony venue.
   
• Make this as private of a moment as possible.  You will likely want your photographer/videographer there to capture the emotion. Those are always some of the most cherished shots. Try your best to eliminate all of the other distractions around you.  Your friends and family will jump at the change to be there if you let them. Allow only the bare minimum. Having one best friend or sibling escort you to see your beloved for the first time. Yes.  Having an entourage of 15 trailing behind your with their iphones.  No.
   
• Keep your hands free. If you’re exchanging gifts or letters with your soon-to-be spouse, have another person carry that object and hold it until after your initial reaction. Keep your hands free, or only holding your bouquet, so the images of your first reaction are uncluttered.  It’s also one less thing for you to think about (or potentially drop) in the moment.  Important Note: The person carrying your item cannot be your photographer.  Their hands are busy too. If you want this moment to be totally private, open those items while you’re getting ready.  
   
• Stop, breathe and savor.  This day goes by so quickly, and likely one of the main reasons you chose this first look is to squeeze in every minute of time together you can.  Don’t rush yourself or think about your timeline in this moment. You’ve done your planning (see above!). Live this moment while you’re in it; don’t coordinate it.

Room to Wedding: Vol III

This morning's Room to Wedding edition is inspired my a children's room! Yes, you read that correctly.  A deeply fabulous children's room for sure! From the home of Christine Dovey, originally seen on Style Me Pretty Living, I loved the mix of subtle patter and texture and the soft pops of color. 

Start with a drape of fabric to soften your ceremony backdrop. Aren't these chandeliers the best! A mirrored bar sets the tone at your cocktail hour and classic black and white menus are clean and graphic.  Pops of color with your bridal party are just enough, but not all-pink-everywhere. 

My favorite element of this room is the Petal Pusher wallpaper. You can bring exact elements you love in to your design. Consider creating a photo backdrop or escort card display with a few piece of wall paper affixed to a plywood backdrop.  

Hey Abby? // Can I mix metal tones at my wedding?

Hey Abby:
Should I mix metals tones in my wedding design, or should I stick with all one tone?

This is a questions I get ALL the time! There’s a deeply rooted seed that we learned somewhere in our mother’s or grandmother’s closets that metals are not meant to be mixed and all of your jewelry must be either gold or silver. So when we’re faced with the bevy of options out there in metal tones for wedding decor, we panic.  Can I have silver chargers and brass candlesticks?! What about brass serving trays and silver flatware? Why on earth are there so many metal options anyway??

Here’s a fun little quiz. Which of these feels more like you?

A. Classic, Polished, Cohesive, Elegant

B. Layered, Warm, Chic, Collected

If you said A then you’re more likely going to prefer one tone of metal throughout your design.  It’s seamless and cohesive and deeply classic. Pick your favorite tone and stick to it.  

If you said B then mixing metals might just be your jam and you should MIX AWAY!! I love the combination of various textures and tones and think there’s a depth and richness to the space that comes from it.  

If you choose that mixing metal finishes is right for you, here’s some tips on how to do it well:

• Vary the finishes on the metal pieces.  Shiny brass next to shiny gold next to shiny silver looks forced coordinated in my opinion. When there’s a weathered brass next to a shiny silver next to a matte gold, the finishes don’t compete with each other and each piece looks intentionally selected.
• Choose a dominant metal and use the other finishes for accents. This helps give you some structure when selecting your finishes, so it doesn’t feel like you’re randomly slapping all the metals together. 

• Look at the undertones of your color palette.  Does your color palette have mostly warms or mostly cool undertones? Warmer undertones will often pair best with brass, gold and warmer colored metals. Cooler undertones lend themselves to silver, nickel and darker finishes.

Fun and Elegant Wedding Inspiration

Where are my color lovers?!

If you feel like you're a neon lost in a sea of neutrals, today's inspiration board is for you.

Inspired by the work of Britt Bass Turner, this wedding inspiration is deeply elegant with a huge pop of fun! Temper those brights with healthy doses of cream and white and let your bright flag fly! 

Image sources clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5