When I’m determining my guest list, should I include a plus-one guest for the members of my wedding party?
Oh, the hotly debated plus-one guest conundrum. I’ve seen even the most aligned couples and friends become vastly divided on this topic.
Yes, any member of your wedding party should receive a plus-one-guest if they are married or have a long term partner OR if they are in a significant relationship and/or live with their significant other.
For any member of the party who doesn’t fall in the above categories (or is in the grey-zone of relationship significance), here’s my advice:
The most respectful thing is to simply ask them if they would like to bring a guest. No one blanket rule will cover every person or circumstance. If these people are important enough in your life to be included in the wedding party, then they’re close enough for you to have a conversation with. If it turns out they would like to bring a guest, it’s gracious to extend them the opportunity regardless of your budget or current head count. Cut in other places if this feel like a significant burden. A simple “would you like to bring a guest to the wedding?” will go a tremendous way in making them feel appreciated and respected for giving such a big commitment to your day.
Some people will be flattered you asked and more comfortable dancing the night away with a date by their side. Others won’t want to worry about where their plus-one is during all of the required wedding party responsibilities and will forgo the option compleatly. Either way the most important people in your life will feel included and respected and that is the ultimate ‘do.’
Want to chat about this more? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Email me! firstname.lastname@example.org