I can’t decide if I should include a bouquet/garter toss in my reception. It feels like an antiquated tradition. I’m worried my single girlfriends won’t like being called out, and I always hate watching the garter toss as a guest. But I don’t want to miss out on anything or look back and regret not doing it.
No, I don’t think you should include a bouquet or garter toss. Not all traditions should be dismissed, just for sake of them being traditions, but you’ve got some strong feelings that this tradition is not for you. So skip it.
In my opinion, this tradition is antiquated. The line between sweet/intimate/uncomfortable in a garter toss is very thin, and there’s no going back once it’s crossed. The bouquet toss implies that marriage is a finish line to be raced towards with competitive elbowing and your single girlfriends may be exactly where they want to be in life right now, and that’s really no one else business.
More so, this great question hits on such a common root of doubt that causes much of the stress in wedding planning. The fear of missing out is a real thing in our lives, and increases the more real-time connected we get to each other and also to strangers on the internet. During big life events, especially once in a lifetime events, the fear drives us to say yes to everything, so we don’t miss out on anything.
But what happens when you say yes to everything is that you’re spread thin and there is less of your focus on anything. Create wedding day memories that are DEEP, not wide. Deep in your focus, deep in your attention, and deep in the precious moments of time you have. Those are memories you won’t regret.