Welcome to week 3 and the final step in this Wedding Guide to Make The Pretty Mean Something! I’m so happy to have you back again. So far this month you’ve learned why this process is so important. Last week, you did the heart work and talked with your partner about the celebration you’re planning to start off your marriage and have a good set of 1-3 wedding values to work from that resonate with both of you. Now it’s time to LIVE them! Get excited- because this is where you really reap the rewards of not diving head first into Pinterest without a life vest.
Here’s how to Plan a Wedding Around Your Values:
Make your Inspiration Board a good reflection of your Values
Step 1: Gather all your inspiration! Pin to your heart's content!! Go wild and crazy with all the pretty things. (Told you, we’d get to this!)
Step 2: Look at your board as a whole and read through your values. Do they pop out at you on your board? Give yourself an honest gut check here. Edit your inspiration down until the you can look at the board and SEE those values reflected back at you. Removing a few images you really like might feel like torture in the moment, but editing is an essential element to having a cohesive vision and battling overwhelm. You will live without that sparkly, DIY napkin ring, I promise.
Step 3: Put this board front and center in your planning space - so every time you look at it, you feel all warm and fuzzy about creating a day around those beautiful pieces. Snap a picture and make it your home screen image, put it on your fridge, or on the front cover of your planning notebook.
Create Your Budget Around your Values
Oh budgets, we love you and hate you all at once. Budgets are one of the most delicate pieces of wedding planning, and the source of much overwhelm and grief. It’s a difficult thing not to directly equate money to value. In my opinion, one of the great obstacles in life. It’s easy to think in simplified terms and conclude that if A = Good then A x 2 = Twice as Good! It's one of the harder thought patterns to break. Weddings can’t take all the blame for this one. Call it society, call it upbringing, but it's truly an oversimplification. Remind yourself often that money does not equal values.
I like to reserve 10% of the initial budget number for Value-Bumps. Use any breakdown you’d like to determine your budget categories. Then use that 10% cushion to put your money where your mouth is and make those pieces of your wedding that are important for you extra special
Here’s an example: You and your partner value sustainable living. So after you budget out your reception expenses, allocate that 10% towards catering and hire a caterer who grows most of their own vegetables.
Tell Your Vendors What Your Values Are
I promise you, they 100% want to know. First, because they want to deliver the best service and wedding experience possible. Secondly, when you find vendors who align with your values, the energy vibes that will come out of that working relationship will be incredible!
Should you worry that you’ll offend them? No. Take this one off your worry plate, it’s full enough already. Even if your wedding values don’t specifically call out the area they work on, there will be pieces of your values that EVERY vendor can incorporate into their work. At the very least, you’ll provide them more clarity and open communication about how to best serve you as their client, and that is always appreciated.
Tell Your Family What they Are and Why they’re important to You
Yes, I promise you they also 100% want to know. Every family I've worked with has the best at heart for their bride or groom. It’s easy for expectations to become skewed, but at the core your families love you and want you to have a happy and memorable wedding day. Given a little context about the day you’re trying to achieve and most will happily embrace those same ideas.
Have a script for saying no
Two little letters that make life so hard sometimes. The mental laundry list starts to tumble quickly. “They won’t like me” “They’ll think I’m mean” “I’ll hurt their feelings”. It goes against the let’s all get along-singalong that is my default setting in life. But a kind no is possible and essential in the planning process. The faster you do this, the smaller emotional toll it will take on you. Adult-ing is hard sometimes. Reward yourself with an episode of Gilmore Girls afterwards.
Remind each other what your values are when the goin’ gets tough
Even with a solid set of wedding values in place, it’s not ALL roses and champagne. This is a big deal, with a lot of moving parts. It’s really easy to fall into a sequin-lace comma after ingesting too many gold foil fumes and whoops, you find yourself have a mini-meltdown on the bathroom floor because that you need ALL THE THINGS or THE WHOLE DAY WILL BE RUINED. It happens, and you're normal.
You’re marrying this person for a reason. Probably because they compliment your strengths and weaknesses, just like you do for them. Remind your partner why you both identified these things as important to you when the stress level starts to tip the scales, and ask them to do the same for you. And then promptly pick yourself up and do something non-wedding related yank yourself back to reality.
Move on and Have Fun!
And there we have it! The entire reason for this guide is so that you can savor this incredibly special period of your life with less stress. Plan your celebration and then move on and do something else with your time! Go.live.your.life!
Heirloom Event Co. can help you infuse values and meaning into your wedding day. I'd love to chat about your planning needs!