It’s no understatement that planning your wedding can be an overwhelming experiences at times. There are many tasks to accomplish and increased attention and focus from your family and the outside world. It also seems that weddings have a way of creating other big changes in your life, and this may not be the only big life event happening in a given year. We don’t always get to choose what else is happening in our lives during our engagement journey. But we do get to choose to focus on what is most important to us, create the memories we most want to remember, and cut out the excess that doesn’t bring us joy.
4 Tips For Choosing Joy During Your Wedding Planning
Let go of your Checklist Perfectionism + Tasks vs. Deadlines
Most of the items on your planning checklist will be tasks. The time frames on any checklist are meant to guide you through completing the most important tasks first. Don’t let perfectionism tell you that if you are not adhering to this checklist with 100% accuracy you are failing or behind with your planning. Use these timeframes as guides; adjusted to fit your individual planning time and life schedule as necessary.
The true deadlines in your planning are firm and need to be adhered to. For example, payment dates from your vendors or when you are required to give final counts to your caterer or florist. It's important to adhere to these dates, so that your vendors and others can do their best work in a timely fashion before your wedding.
Don't delegate the tasks that you find really fun!
This seems like common sense, but it's worth stating. The items that you are really looking forward to should stay on your to-do list. Even if those items are fairly easy and could be delegated to others. For example, if assembling your wedding invitations brings you a lot of joy, don't hand that off to your Mom to do.
If people are offering to help, absolutely accept their offer in ways that can lighten your load. I often recommend that my clients have a small list in their minds of tasks that could be delegated, so that when someone offers to help, they have a readily available item to hand over!
Schedule Planning Dates!
Wedding Planning can be a lot of work. That work can automatically fall mostly to one person, especially in the early months where it involves online research and email contact. A great way to share the workload of planning can be to set Planning Dates with each other. A dedicated day/time to work on your planning tasks together makes the time more enjoyable, efficient and can strengthen your relationship. Even if you have divided up the tasks, Planning Dates are a great time to spend together working on your individual tasks where you can run questions by each other, talk through options and have a shared experience.
Don't waiver on what's important to you, and be thankful to let go of the rest.
We'll call this step "Kondo-ing Your Wedding Planning." Otherwise known as Heirloom's Wedding Values (I feel in really good company here!). This is why it's such a crucial first step to get clear on those things that are most important to you (what sparks joy) before you get into the thick of planning. Being able to say, "Thank you, but that’s not for us" is one of the most empowering ways to have a joyful engagement.
Big life changes are hard and people deal with change in different ways. If planning your wedding is the most fun thing you have ever done, cherish that experience and enjoy the ride! If that’s not the experience you’re having and you’re struggling through some of the decisions or tasks, give yourself some grace and know this is one season and it too shall pass.