Having a lovely afternoon lunch with your close female friends and family is beautiful tradition and a fantastic way to celebrate your wedding. It's also a bit archaic of a tradition that doesn't seem to be keeping pace with the evolution of the rest of our lives.
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If branching out from the traditional ladies-only shower is something that you would like, or fits your life best, then speak up early in the process and specifically ask for what you want.
Do you want your partner to attend the shower too? Ask for that. Do you want to include your close friends of all genders in a shower that everyone would feel comfortable at (lunch at a local brewery instead of high tea)? Ask for that.
Always be careful to give your hosts the leeway to plan a shower that is within their budget and capacity, but don't believe that you have to subscribe to every wedding tradition regarding showers simply because that's the way it's always been done. As with anything you value during your wedding planning, be able to clearly and concisely articulate why this is important to you.
- Review the guest list or remind your hosts of who is on your wedding invitation list. For the most part, anyone invited to a shower should also be invited to the wedding. This includes significant others, and children.
If you are not including children on the wedding invitation, but would like to include a select few that are close to you in a shower, have a personal conversation (or delegate this to a close family member) about the shower specifically. "We're not able to include any children at our wedding reception but we know that little Susie would really enjoy this afternoon tea time, and would be more than happy if you brought her along"
There are some exceptions to this rule. For example, a shower thrown at your office by your coworkers is a lovely gesture from people you spend so many of your waking hours with - but it doesnʻt necessarily require an invitation to the wedding.
And there you have it! These are just a few ways to navigate your wedding shower! Leave a comment down below or send me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org on your thoughts about planning a wedding shower.